Breaking For You
by OneGirlaMillionBooks
Summary: Eremika one shot - Mikasa feels empty after the events of the last few days. After a long day of training she decides to take a midnight walk along Wall Rose but finds her emotions tearing her apart. Alone and tired, she lets herself give up until someone comforts her who she never imagined could see her in the same light again, in more ways than one.


**Hello! Friendly Introduction there. So this is my first one shot so i'm warning you it could be a tiny bit off on what it should be but i'll let you be the judge of that. **

**I literally came up with the idea at 2 o'clock last night and I really wanted to just have a go at a one shot.**

**I was suppose to be updating _I'll always run with you (_My other Eremika Fanfic_)_ this weekend but my beta reader didn't have time and I didn't want to upload it raw so I didn't. I'm hoping that it will be up this week when she's done with it but until then I needed to post something so basically this is it!**

**Okay I waffled there but yes, first one shot**

**Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER - I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHT TO ATTACK ON TITAN JUST A FANFICTION. IF I DID WHO KNOWS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN *Evil laughter in distance***

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**Breaking For You**

(Mikasa's POV)

The Scent of dust after rain wafts through the air as the day closes to an end. The harshness of the suns heat disappears beyond the looming walls giving way to night, the stars dotting in the sky overhead.  
I can't remember the last time it was this peaceful.  
I can't remember if it was ever really peaceful.  
My body aches from the harsh training I've been pulled through all day. Levi insisted on me training non stop saying I wasn't trying hard enough. The amount of times I wanted to murder him there and then was unimaginable but I held my control. I did what I was told and worked, now I'm paying for it. Everything about me yearns for sleep but yet my mind won't stop ticking. I can't seem to settle. I almost want to run, but where is there to run to?

I sigh and walk out of the survey corps HQ drawing my scarf around me tighter, as the wind wisps past my cheeks flushing them pink with the cold.  
Looking down the street while walking, I notice how looks run down everything.  
Buildings are crumbling and vines climb high on a lot of them forcing them to sag, almost looking a little sorry for themselves.

Yet they still stand to support the families who live within their walls.  
My mouth twitches into a slight smile as I laugh to myself at how the buildings remind me a little of myself.  
Sad and tired but still going.  
Turning my back of the buildings, I walk out of the small village and into open fields heading in the direction of the wall. Maybe I need to climb to wall to relax myself. Looking over the looming thing may make me feel slightly less trapped than I already am.  
I think over my idea wondering about what could go wrong but in the end I forget anything like that, instead I run towards the wall and as I near it's sheer stone face I shoot my gear hooks I still have on from training and I climb up and up with my goal in mind to reach the top and only that.

Reaching the top is like breathing brand new air, it's like having a 10 ton rock removed from your chest and letting you move freely for the first time. I inhale deeply through my nose taking in the little freedom I feel up here.  
Everything is more silent than I could have imagined. Of course I've been up here before for the exact reason as now, to clear my thoughts. But this time I can't shake the feeling that I am alone, really alone.  
I tuck my hair back behind my ears as I bite my lip. Staring over the wall into the titan filled distance I close my eyes, exhaling deeply.  
Too alone.  
A sudden gale of the wind makes my hair fly across my face and instead of brushing it away I sit down facing the wind, legs dangled over the edge of wall rose.  
Even the wind doesn't want me to have one minute to myself.  
A sharp pang of guilt shoots into my chest.  
Why did I think that when all I want right now is not to have a minute to myself. My lips tremble at the thought.  
'I miss him too you know.'  
I snap my head up to the familiar voice behind me.  
His teal eyes meet mine, my heart cracks a little at the pained look plastered on his face.  
'Eren?'  
He gives me a half hearted smile and walks over to where I'm sat. I shuffle over a little when he sits down beside me, legs crossed.  
He stares off into the distance. I know he's thinking about yesterday.  
'Its not you're fault you know. You can stop blaming yourself. I want you to have peace of mind. ' I say looking at him.  
Eren sighs and begins to mess with his straps, avoiding my gaze.  
'I shouldn't have left him, I ran after the wrong titan, I didn't even see the one behind us, Armin was gone from me before I could even turn.'

His expression is destroying me.

'Armin died last night not because of you but because the squad lost control. There were too many Eren-,' I start but he cuts me off.

'Mikasa, just stop, okay?'  
Everything about him right now breaks my insides. I don't know what to say. It's not his fault the squad scattered apart, I would have been there but I was surrounded myself. He should be blaming me.  
I think of all the ways I might have reached them in time but it all ends the same. It doesn't matter now anyway, what's done is done. Armin's dead and I just have to remember him the way he was. The light to mine and Eren's dark.

He would want me to continue.  
Eren let's out a whimper and I look over to him, his face wet with tears. He raises his hands to his eyes covering them trying to stop the crying.  
I look away from him deciding to let him cry. My head swims with its own emotion and I rest my head on his shoulder letting my own eyes water a little. I feel stronger than ever but I know there are more cracks in me than before.

Silently crying with Eren, I gaze into the distance, my eyes empty.  
'What do we do now?' Eren asks sadly, his voice hoarse from crying.  
I remain silent for a minute thinking the question over.  
'I guess I try to forget,' I reply emptily.  
I feel Eren tense beside me.  
'You forget? What about me?'  
I hear more cracks forming on my heart.

If only he knew.  
'You don't remember do you Eren? What you did when Armin died. You have already forgotten in some way. I envy you that way, I want to forget but then who would remember everything we went through.'  
Eren stares at me, confused at first, I continue to look away to the fields ahead. My eyes widen when I feel Eren grabbing my hand, holding it in his.  
'Mikasa, we will remember him together, don't forget anything, you're better than that,'  
I turn to face him, my eyes meet his and I realise what I'm thinking. I've thought it before, when I thought Eren was dead. So why did I think it again?  
I smile a little and he squeezes my hand.  
'I won't leave you Mikasa remember that. We will get through this like we always have.'  
I close my eyes as more silent tears cascade down my cheeks.  
My chest feels like it might explode. I want it to all to be one long dream.  
Eren's body shifts. He moves to face me.

I hear his breath quickening like my own as he draws closer. Warm heat from his breathing slowly presses nearer.

Suddenly his forehead is pressed against mine.

I let my eyes stay closed trying to block him out but I can't. Thumbs rub my tears away as he holds my head in his hands.

I let myself go limp.  
His lips brush mine ever so lightly that I barely feel it but I know it's him. It's as delicate as a feather on my fingertips.  
He lingers there for a moment, his nose touching mine and then, he gently kisses me.

My lips part for his and I feel my heart hammer against my chest as his lips move with mine but yet I don't kiss his back, the way I should. The way I want to.

I just sit there letting my chest swell up with emotion. I want to punch him and kiss him at the same time. My body goes rigid.  
Suddenly he stops, realising what I'm feeling. He draws away as slowly as he started and then I feel  
nothing.

His warm breath on my nose, gone.

His soft lips on mine, withdrawn.

I can only feel his taste fading off my mouth.

'Eren I'm sorry-'I say reaching out for him but all I grab is air.  
I open my eyes staring into the darkness around me.  
He's gone.  
I continue to let my cheeks get wet from my tears. I don't wipe a single one away. I don't deserve to.

'_I won't leave you Mikasa remember that. We will get through this like we always have.'_

His words repeat in my mind.  
'Don't leave me Eren,' I whisper to myself.  
I sit there waiting for him to return to me for the rest of the night but I can't seem to tell myself he's not coming back.

The sun begins to rise in the morning giving the land new life. The tears have dried on my face making it stiff and cold.  
I sit lifeless looking at the floor feeling like I'm fading away.  
'Mikasa!' I hear someone call.  
I look up, my heartbeat racing at the thought of it being Eren.  
Jean appears at the side of the wall running over to me.  
I let out a long distant breath.  
'Are you okay?' Jean asks looking concerned at my ragged state.  
'Yeah I just needed...time,' I reply.  
Jean looks away from me to the floor awkwardly.  
'It's time. Everyone's at HQ waiting for you to start it.'  
I smile a little to myself.

Their waiting for me to start it, of course.

The tired emotionless girl has to start her best friend's funerals.

The girl who just experienced a kiss from a dead boy.

'I'm coming now,' I say standing up.  
'Okay I'll tell them, want me to wait for you?' He asks starting to turn.  
'No you go, it's fine, really,' I lie.  
He nods sadly and begins to walk back towards the edge of the wall from where he appeared. I turn to the opposite direction, gazing over the edge.  
Jeans footprints stop dead suddenly.

I hear the pain and difficulty In his voice as he speaks.  
'Eren loved you Mikasa. I know he might have not shown it often, but, he really did…I'm sorry he didn't tell you himself.'  
Looking up sharply at Jean's words I turn round to ask him what he meant but before I can speak he's already gone.  
My jaw falls open slightly. I bring my fingers to my mouth tracing where Eren's lips were.  
A gentle breeze sweeps my hair from my neck, its coolness making my hair stand on end. It feels almost like fingers on my skin.  
Closing my eyes, I let my mind wonder.  
Armin stands before me his hand outstretched, a grin beaming on his face.  
I feel Eren's arms close round my waist, his breath tickling my ear.

'Don't leave me,' I gasp on the verge of more tears.

Eren smiles against my skin.

'We won't Mikasa, I won't leave you,' he says before I feel him fade away, gone from me.  
I smile at the moment.  
The moment that I wish was real.

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**What You think? **

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**If you liked this one shot you should check out my current running Eremika fanfiction also on on my profile called 'I'll always run with you'**

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**Until next time!**

**^.^**


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